Hello Markus,
I'm not sure if what I offer is a solution to what you problem or just yet another long winded ramble, but for another angle besides what you have tried so far, you could try
adding "-no-feature-opengles3" to your configure statement.
It is my understanding that the RPi when using the GPU firmware support OpenGLES v2 .
Since your using the device option "linux-rasp-pi3-g++" that means you want to use the binary bcm BLOB(firmware) that controls the GPU, which is the default for that qt device option, but not the default for the pi4's firmware. But that's another issue.
I have compiled both the raspi-pi3-g++ and the pi3-vc4 one and they both work with my projects when using the option:
"-no-feature-opengles3"
#I have binaries here built on buster raspbian at sf:
https://sourceforge.net/projects/qt-5-9-8-eglfs-emb-rpipi2-plus/
and
https://sourceforge.net/projects/qt-5-9-8-eglfs-gbm-emb-pi3-vc4/
If you check qtdiag after a good build you can see what your opengles setup is.
Here is the important info from my rpi3 "GPU blob enabled" build, the same type of one your building.
LibGLES Vendor: Broadcom
Renderer: VideoCore IV HW
Version: OpenGL ES 2.0
Shading language: OpenGL ES GLSL ES 1.00
Format: Version: 2.0 Profile: 0 Swap behavior: 0 Buffer size (RGB): 5,6,5
and then
Here is the important info from my rpi3 " mesa VC4 enabled" build, obv NOT same type of one your building in your example here, but given anyway for comparison. Even though I do add this option (-no-feature-opengles3) with the vc4 build too it does not break my builds so far (YMMV). The rpi3-vc4 qt "-device" version supports a higher version of es2 from mesa, but I think the hardware is still limited to 2.0
That being said the "Shader language statement below still says it can do 3.0 in my -no-feature-opengles3 configured vc4 build :) Symantics.
LibGLES Vendor: Broadcom
Renderer: V3D 4.2
Version: OpenGL ES 3.0 Mesa 19.1.0-devel
Shading language: OpenGL ES GLSL ES 3.00
Format: Version: 3.0 Profile: 0 Swap behavior: 0 Buffer size (RGB): 8,8,8
Just in the unlikely case you havent seen it. A long discussion about about the vc4 , see next link.
Some of that, I think says , how it's default setup DOES NOT use the GPU
binary when on the Pi4. Not a quote but thats what I got from it.
https://www.raspberrypi.org/forums/viewtopic.php?f=67&t=243564&p=1508457&hilit=vc4#p1508457
or
https://www.raspberrypi.org/forums/viewtopic.php?t=216804
and
https://www.raspberrypi.org/forums/viewtopic.php?t=244519
and
https://www.raspberrypi.org/forums/viewtopic.php?f=67&t=243507&p=1508172&hilit=vc4#p1508172
Good luck.
*note my examples are with 5.9.8, but still applies as I have built up to 12.4 same way, but I dont use the latest with mine because I have unresolved mysql/mariadb issues in >5.9.8 , but thats just me.