Funny programming related quotes

[ucomesdag]

Stumbled upon Gerolf's signature which has a funny quote: [quote author="Gerolf" date="1303840092"]Programming Is Like Sex: One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life. (Michael Sinz)[/quote]

So what about sharing your most funny and original programming (or Qt) related quote here.

Ok, this one is not really programming related, more about the frustration that comes with it, but is my favorite motto for computer related problems :-)
[quote]When your only tool is a hammer, every problem looks like a reason to buy a way nicer hammer.[/quote] It ain't mine but refers a bit to back in the days when I started programming and with a colleague we would smash old computers and monitors with a hammer to blow some steam off when frustrated :-)

@Gerolf love your quote, it made me laugh a bit too loud this morning!

[andre]

Ashleigh Brilliant:
[quote]My opinions may have changed- but not the fact that I'm right.[/quote]

Used it as my signature for years.

[tobias.hunger]

I liked this one:

bq. A real programmer can program C in any language.

Don't remember who said it though.

[ucomesdag]

bq. Theory is when you know something, but it doesn't work. Practice is when something works, but you don't know why. Programmers combine theory and practice: Nothing works and they don't know why.

[mgran]

bq. “The most amazing achievement of the computer software industry is its continuing cancellation of the steady and staggering gains made by the computer hardware industry.” (Henry Petroski)

/runs away

[Franzk]

More computing sins are committed in the name of efficiency (without necessarily achieving it) than for any other single reason - including blind stupidity.

    — William A. Wulf

And one I didn't expect to encounter:

I (...) am rarely happier than when spending an entire day programming my computer to perform automatically a task that would otherwise take me a good ten seconds to do by hand.

    — Douglas Adams, Last Chance to See

[task_struct]

My favorite is:

bq. "Walking on water and developing software from a specification are easy if both are frozen."

• Edward V Berard

"Top 50 Programming Quotes of All Time":http://www.junauza.com/2010/12/top-50-programming-quotes-of-all-time.html

[situ117]

This is what Bjarne Stroustrup quoted on criticism of C++:

bq.
There are only two kinds of languages: the ones people complain about and the ones nobody uses.

[Eddy]

I like this one :

bq. 3. "Most good programmers do programming not because they expect to get paid or get adulation by the public, but because it is fun to program."

• Linus Torvalds

[bergo.torino]

One of my favourites is: It's compiling - mostly I'm slacking of

[ivan]

bq. One of my most productive days was throwing away 1000 lines of code. ~ Ken Thompson

bq. Deleted code is debugged code. ~ Jeff Sickel

[Franzk]

[quote author="bergo.torino" date="1308164714"]One of my favourites is: It's compiling - mostly I'm slacking of [/quote]
Important one to remember then is "xkcd comic 303":http://xkcd.org/303/

[bergo.torino]

"Let's document all the bugs we have so that they become features" :)

[Santosh Reddy]

bq. If debugging is the process of removing bugs, then programming must be the process of putting them in. ~Author Unknown

[ivan]

@Santosh nice!

[Franzk]

[quote author="Santosh Reddy" date="1308207477"]bq. If debugging is the process of removing bugs, then programming must be the process of putting them in. ~Author Unknown[/quote]
This quote originates from Edsger Dijkstra.

[ucomesdag]

The First Commandment of Technology.

The Commandments of Technology:

Thou shalt read the fucking manual.

Thou shalt treat technology with care and love.

Thou may covet thy neighbor's technology, but thou shalt not steal it.

[TobbY]

The trouble with programmers is that you can never tell what a programmer is doing until it's too late.
*Seymoure Cray *

I am a composer, horn player, and computer programmer.
*Robert Patterson *

http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Programming

[ucomesdag]

"If Pac-Man had affected us as kids, we'd all be running around in dark rooms, munching pills and listening to repetitive electronic music." --Marcus Alexander Brigstocke