...I have more time to code....
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I have been kicked out from well known forum , mainly because I got
fed up being constantly harassed and finally spoke my peace.From now on I will have a preamble for my post - here is my draft :
"I am sorry to post this in my OWN style,not necessarily conforming to your style...
I am sorry to express my opinion(s) , not necessarily in sych with your opinion...
and if I really want YOUR opinion I will ask for it...."I am therefore asking for your unbiased opinion (!) about my preamble and if you care to give me
an estimate how long will it take before I get kicked out from forum where I placed this in.Happy mother's day y'all
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@AnneRanch
Dear Anne-Ranch,maybe it's worth to look at forum posts from another angle.
Basically all contributors on this form and others offer help in their free time, because they firmly believe in the concepts of open source and mutuality. They do it out of idealism, enthusiasm and because it's fun. Fun is the main driver, at least for me. Even though I work for the Qt company, the community around Qt (including this forum) are part of my personal interest and life.
No matter if I try to help or if I struggle: When I write a post, I read it again before I submit. I try to put myself in the shoes of the readers. Have I given all information someone else needs to understand what I want to express? Is there anything I can do to make reading as easy as possible? Can I assume that others find it pleasant to read my post? Am I expressing unnecessary judgments? Am I addressing people directly in a way they might feel offending? Have I said "please" and "thank you"?
Even more important: Have I abstracted my emotions from the issue? Do I convey anger, because struggling has driven me nuts? Do I convey arrogance because a question annoys me?
I take the liberty to express a personal opinion about the preamble proposal: For me it's like requesting a diplomatic passport, in return for beginning every post with a behavioral disclosure. Being consistent to your own style is fine, so is pointing it out in a preamble. However, preambles and disclosures do not justify any behavior. If I re-read our last conversation (I am not gonna quote it here, I don't find it so relevant), I wonder if being kicked out of another forum makes you feel like a victim or like an offender.
My estimate how long it takes before you get kicked out from this forum? No idea, not my business, thank god. When I find a post becoming unfriendly and insulting, I just walk away from it.
You asked for unbiased opinions? Here is mine: Don't say sorry at the beginning. Say sorry when it went wrong. Make it easy and pleasant for others to communicate with you. Smiles can change the world for the better, rants can't. Your preamble won't make anybody smile. Focus on the smile.
Smile!
Axel -
@Axel-Spoerl I need a break from coding... I do appreciate your comments.
Here are mine.
I am of an opinion that most forum frequent participants expect "servant kind of attitude' when one ask for help,
hence starting with "sorry (for me bothering you with my post ) ... may work to poster benefits.
They acquire what is commonly refer to as " control freak " position - they are the owners of the forum...
I see it all the time when posts start with " I am a beginner , so be nice ..." . Folks who start their text that way
got such attitude from reading the forum - not from reading the "posting rules" - they got it from real experience.The forum I got kicked off has a very clear "posting rule " to the effect
"... this forum is to help coders , not to make them feel stupid ...."
unfortunately few "owners " of the forum missed that rule.
